Some Jokes 2 relieve the pain xD

Step 1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.

Step 2. Put your new employees in the room and close the door.

Step 3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.


Then analyse the situation:


- If they are counting the bricks put them in the Accounting.

- If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.

- If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

- If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

- If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.

- If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

- If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

- If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

- If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

- If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.

- If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.

- If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Government.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...

Patient : “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?”
Doctor : “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the
disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died”.

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Teacher : “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
One Student : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.”

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Teacher : “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted
doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?”
One Student: ” Because George still had the axe in is hand.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...

Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Pupil : “A teacher”

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Teacher : “Sam, you talk a lot !”
Sam : “It’s a family tradition”.
Teacher : “What do you mean?”
Sam : “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher”.
Teacher : “What about your mother?”
Sam : “She’s a woman”.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...
Roses are red; violets are blue.
Monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too.
Not in a cage but laughing at you.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...


Twinkle twinkle little star.
You should know what you are.
And once you know what you are!
Mental hospital is not so far.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...


The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful Why doesn't it rain on you?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...


I wrote your name on sand it got washed,
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then, I wrote your name on my heart And I got a heart attack straight away

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...


God saw me hungry, HE created pizza.
HE saw me thirsty, HE created Pepsi,
HE saw me in dark, HE created light.
HE saw me without problems, HE created YOU.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...


When your life is in darkness, pray to God.
Ask him to free you from darkness,
and if after you pray, you're still in darkness,Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"

Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet-dreams...and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the works. He covers a wide and varied assortment of sub topics and by the time he's finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge. Her father finally asks: "So what did you want to know about sex for?"

"Oh, mommy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple
of secs..."

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A married man is having an affair with a women in Italy. She gets pregant and he promises to pay for all the expenses. The women says "But how will u know when the baby is born?" the man says "Send me a postcard with the word spaghetti on it, then my wife won't know what it is." so many months later, the man gets home from work, and his wife says "honey, u got a very strange postcard int he mail today," the man says "here let me see it." the man turns white because on the postcard it says: Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Spaghetti, 2 with meatballs, 1 without.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...

An old cowboy sat down at the Star bucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows,
going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring
calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding
my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As
soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I
think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think
about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of
women."

The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy
and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?!”
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I’m a
lesbian."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~...

A blind man lives on the first floor, A card player lives on the second floor and a Biker lives on a third floor and on the fourth floor lives a women who always takes showers. One day she heard a knock on the door and she got out of the shower and wrapped around the towel and answered the door. It was the card player. He said ,"Congratulate me I won a game of poker". A few days later she heard another knock on the door. She wrapped a towel around herself and she answered the door. It was the bike racer and he said, congratulate me, I won the tour de France. The next day she got another knock on her door. She assumed it would be the blind man so she didn't wrap the towel around herself. She answered the door and it indeed was the blind man and he said, "congratulate me, I got my eyesight back!!!!